“Unforgiveness:
an enabler,
a thief of opportunity,
a minimizer of the quality of life,
a deviator of man’s true potential”
I think we can all agree that we want to live out 2017 without the baggage and stress of 2016. We all have hurt and pain that dictates the capacity in which we love, live, and have our being. I have been taught that harboring unforgiveness is like taking in poison with the hope that it will hurt the other person. When you think about it that way, we could deem that sheer stupidity and completely counter-productive. From my experience of just being human, I know living in unforgiveness is not a productive state of mind to live in. We become easily irritated. We take things too personal. We over-analyze to prove our stories right. We get frazzled and distracted by the smallest things that shouldn't even bother us. It really impacts the quality of our life.
If we want to not just live 2017, but Shape It, then we really need to take an inventory of our relationships and let go of some of the baggage. Starting off the new year without the extra weight of remorse, regret, anger, frustration will allow us to get to destinations that we haven't arrived to yet, because the unforgiveness disqualified us too early. How many destinations, levels of intimacy, in relationships, have we not arrived to, because of our own stories and our past hurt? How many opportunities were lost, because we chose to not invest based on mere prediction?
We take less risks when we are hurt, because we want to protect ourselves from re-opening that scab that has not fully healed. Unforgiveness enables us to relive the hurt, and our brain does the rest by sending the same negative chemicals that you felt - causing us to relive that moment in its fullest. Re-opening the scab, making us live the painful experience of betrayal and belittlement all over again - no matter if it is was yesterday, a week ago, or 10 years ago. When something is reopened, scuffed enough, and rubbed up against the wrong way over and over again, the full healing process cannot take place. Our bodies natural form of self-protection on the human anatomy is to callous the area that is consistently being damaged. How many times do we self-inflict damage when we choose to repeat the same painful memory in our brain? I truly believe that we can become emotionally calloused if we do not allow time for the full healing process to take place.
So, where do we begin with the healing process this January 2, 2017? Well, we can first realize that forgiveness is a process that takes time just like any wound on the body takes time to heal, but it is up to us if we are going to be intentional with this wound or not. People with cuts that are not attentive, who avoid the pain and discomfort of cleaning it, can sometimes deal with infection or a really long healing process. People who are intentional may clean it, put peroxide and Neosporin, and protect it with a band-aid. Same with our emotional hurt, we need to be intentional. In cleaning it, we could have a genuine conversation with that person instead of avoiding them and try to clear (clean) the air. Cleaning our emotional wound could take many forms whether it is full on conversation or sometimes distance for a time. Address your wound with helpful resources like surrounding yourself with positive people instead of isolating yourself. Choosing to take notice of yourself if you are operating out of your hurt and choosing to make changes in that moment. Place a band-aid by seeking wisdom about these relationships that did cause hurt. Truly search your heart and the heart of God to what level of relationship you are called with this person. Are they a family member, church friend, spouse? Seek guidance from a close friend or counselor to help you build healthy boundaries and place those band-aids to help protect yourself from unhealthy relationships.
I encourage you today to cast your cares on God, because He deeply cares for you. I know everyone goes through different levels of hurt, but I do believe that there is nothing that you are carrying that is too much for God. He desires to lighten your load to make your journey through 2017 more enjoyable and less of a burden. God can turn any heart of stone into a heart of flesh again, where you will feel empowered to love again. Where love is no longer a risk but a gift, because you found wholeness and closure. At the end of the day please remember, the unforgiveness only hurts us and short-changes those we are around and love.
TAKE AWAY:
- Unforgiveness is like taking in poison with the hope that it will hurt the other person.
- Unforgiveness only disqualifies us from the quality of life we really want.
- God is the healer and mender of the broken-hearted.
MEDITATION:
“6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God [set aside self-righteous pride], so that He may exalt you [to a place of honor in His service] at the appropriate time, 7 casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully]. ”
“15 For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin. 16 Therefore let us [with privilege] approach the throne of grace [that is, the throne of God’s gracious favor] with confidence and without fear, so that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find [His amazing] grace to help in time of need [an appropriate blessing, coming just at the right moment]. ”
DAILY CHALLENGE:
- Today is Day 2 of 2017, so it is not too late to let go of some of the extra baggage that does not need to come with you in 2017. Take time and be still in God’s presence and begin to think about the people that have hurt you that you feel may have stirred up some unforgiveness.
- Today, in this moment, begin an intentional process of healing: cleaning, addressing, and protecting. Before you take action, seek God for wisdom on what to do.
- Cast your cares, by truly letting it go. When negative thoughts surface and you want to re-live the unforgiveness, choose to cast it away. Don’t pick it back up. Rest with the assurance that it is NOT serving you. Let it go, and let God do the work.