I had the pleasure of having coffee with a ballerina, Alysse Whaley, who has such maturity and depth beyond her years. For being only 16, this girl has focus and an ingrained sense of poise that I wish I had at her age. I started our “Coffee and Conversation” session with a question: what do you want readers to take away from your piece? She said:
“If there is something you think you can do, and someone tells you that you can’t. You should still go for it, and possibly use that for motivation, and say “no, I can do whatever I put my mind to”.
As soon as she said this, I began to wonder as to why this was her message that she desired for you to read:
“I was in a theatre company when I was really little. It was not the best experience for me. I got a call back for a role for Fiddler on the Roof. For this role, this character was going to have a point solo, and I never had done ballet before. I was so unsure if I could do that. The production manager told me that I was too old, and I could never be a ballerina. I was only 11 at this time.”
Imagine your 11 year old self and being told you were too old to attempt something new or to try again. Hearing her tell me that someone told her at 11 years old that she was too old offended my 27 year old self. Confidence and self-assurance is just budding at 11 years old; negativity has the power to de-root, but she chose to not give it power. Negativity was not given the power to dictate her future if anything negativity negated the doubt and propelled her forward to become what she wanted to be: a ballerina.
Words hold power, but we have the choice to let it in or not, internalize or externalize.
We have the power to negate negativity by choosing to permit positivity.
There are too many times in our lives that we serve negativity by inviting it in our lives. We open the door, prop up a seat of opportunity, and choose to eat its one-sided stories, and then the rest of the day or week we wallow and marinate in it.
The beauty of understanding the difference of internalizing and externalizing is that it gives us the power of choice. There are times, situations, and seasons in our lives where we should internalize, but there are times that we should externalize. The balance is beautiful when found, but finding that perfect rhythm takes a lot of trial and error and brute honesty with ourselves.
This is a story that I was taught about understanding the difference between externalizing and internalizing:
“You walk into a room full of people, and people’s eyes are on you as you walk in. What do you do?
You have two options, you can internalize the gazes. Your focus is that there is something about you that has their attention. Some people’s views of themselves can swing from one view to another: Is there something wrong with me? Or why wouldn’t people be looking at me?
The second choice is to externalize the gazes: Why are these people being so judgmental and awkward? What is their problem?”
She went further in her interview explaining how competitive and caddy the theatre environment can be at times, but she has chosen to take a stand for community and be a listening ear and a support. At such a young age, this girl has learned to dig deeper, beyond the pride or what’s fair. She desires justice and community to prevail over competition, recognition, and fame.
“When we really work on our well-being, and when we care about our wellness and the depth of that well. We begin to live better lives. It is about your soul and how you feel and how you show up everyday.”
This is something that this 16 year old has chosen to embrace at a very young age. She has chosen to negate negativity and permit positivity. She has chosen a life that is rooted deep in what she is committed to cause which is to bring community on and off stage.
What can you become if you chose different today? Today, I encourage you to dig deeper and bloom where you are planted, and I assure you that letting go of the control doesn’t beckon chaos whereas it welcomes surrender, the sweet, gentle, quiet assurance that you are okay and that you are enough.
You can show support to Alysse, a ballerina, by attending her upcoming show the Lion King Junior Production, and if you mention “Alysse Whaley” at the ticket booth, you will receive $5 off your ticket for Newsies.