Thanksgiving precedes the miracle.
Remember and surrender are two actions of my soul that have kept me from drowning and losing all hope in this year of 2020 with a pandemic, economic stress, political divide, mental battles, physical apathy, the minutiae of how time just bleeds together with no definite sense of an end or beginning of a new moment.
I haven’t written in a while, and instead of me spending time on why, I am choosing to live in grace and not perfection. I was tired of adding on more plates to my already 30 plates that have been spinning.
What has shifted though is my attitude towards the spinning plates.
I don’t need to keep them all spinning perfectly at the same speed, and if some fall, I can always get up and start again.
Grace and gratitude are two words that I feel I lost as I have trekked through such a dark and dismal year of 2020.
With so much going wrong in our world, it is hard and almost feels delusional to even try to attempt to count blessings or find reasons to smile.
I didn’t realize how pessimistic I had grown and how much I resorted to the default manufacturing of just mere survival, saying no to life and saying yes to death.
I started meeting with a therapist this past week and being able to share my journey was far more freeing than I realized.
To be reminded of my humanity was refreshing; we were never designed to be perfect nor will we ever be.
As I have been processing this year, I have been practicing a new way of living that I am trying to relearn and discipline myself in: being thankful for the small gifts in this life.
It pains me to say that 2020 has dulled my vision and ability to taste and see the goodness and beauty in this life.
I am realizing that I lost the art of gratitude, and it takes intentionality. I encourage you today to take a moment and look around your surroundings whether you are at work, at home, in your car, or outside.
Take a moment to really see, really feel, really taste, and find the miracle and gift in simply being alive.
As I look at my surroundings, I am thankful for…
filtered water that refreshes my body
Chestnut Praline lattes brimming with nostalgia of warm seasons to come
heaters that comfort and warm cold bodies
music that is medicine to the soul
my beating heart that reminds me that my health is a gift to be honored
my breath, a natural reminder of God’s faithfulness and consistency
Whatever miracle you are waiting for, please know that there are little gifts that have been lavished in this day for you to take notice and be reminded that this life is good, beautiful, and sacred.
These little gifts as I choose to recognize, take heed, and notice have become God’s kisses and fingerprints that He is here and now in my life, that He isn’t a distant God but all-present, in it with me.
We are not alone, and this life, this day, this moment, is beating with life.