Disneyland, late night happy hours, game nights with friends, family bbq’s, birthday celebrations, baby showers, brunches, concerts, small-group bible studies, track meets, sport practices, endless errands, movie theater outings, church events, mission trips, social gatherings, hang outs - all a colorful, vibrant, and all-consuming circus.
Today marks Day 15 of the quarantine, and there is this bittersweet tension and off-beat dance between busyness and stillness.
Prior to the Covid-19 quarantine, my calendar was overflowing and spilling over the brim with over-commitment, exhausting events, and a drained and tired spirit.
I remember about a month ago, there was this moment that I looked back at my schedule, and I just wanted one moment, one day to breathe, to not have the need to be required or requested.
I was burning out, but something in me didn’t want the circus to end. It made me feel alive. The dissonance hushed and quieted the real needs of my soul, a quick fix of feeling entertained, busy, and relevant.
There are so many wonderful events to be a part of, but when you oversaturate your life with events to the point of exhaustion and burn out, there is no room for you to saturate yourself with needed rest and stillness.
I know during this time many people around the world are bored, apathetic, angry, anxious, and showing unspoken symptoms of cabin fever.
I am realizing that this quarantine is doing more than helping to decrease the spread of disease rather it is decreasing the rapid and disorienting speed of our world, and we need it.
As someone who lives in Southern California, I embrace and welcome something fun to do way faster than fighting for my well to become filled.
Busyness for the sake of just being busy will not fill our wells rather deplete them. We need to be more cautious in what consumes our time and what we choose to be consumed by.
Consumerism doesn’t have to consume us rather we can choose to consciously choose and steep ourselves in contentment and connection.
As my schedule is more open to quieter and less eventful moments, I realized how busyness became more of an escape from my spirit.
This quarantine has opened my eyes to the all-consuming circus.
Instead of having a black and white rigid balance between busyness and stillness, I am choosing to enjoy the search to the fluid and freeing rhythm that is found in the sacred dance between the busy and the still.
One day, this quarantine will end and busyness will beckon us all back into the circus, and yes, it will be fun, exhilarating, vibrant, but we can’t lose our souls there.
Let’s redeem this time as a sacred and holy pause in human history,
where we get the chance to re-train our hearts to hear the cries and needs of our soul that aren’t found in the circus all the time rather it is found in the slow and simple.