“My commitment needs to be stronger than my feelings at this moment."
This is a quote that is displayed at my chiropractor’s office. My husband and I have been going to this chiropractor since before we were married, and we are about to celebrate 8 years of marriage this coming June, so you would imagine that this quote’s power would have worn off after the first few times seeing it. We get adjusted every other week, and every time I see it, I feel like those words pack an even heavier punch, still challenging me to be better at keeping promises to myself.
We are so courteous when it comes to others. We are constantly asking others “is this a good time” before jumping into a conversation.
If we promise something is going to get done at work, we work tirelessly to ensure that we meet that deadline.
We promise to bring a dish, and we forget to add those items to our grocery pick up list, so now, we are running to the store in the middle of cooking to make it happen.
We promise to serve and volunteer our time at some capacity and lost sight of how busy we have been all week and now, we feel stretched thin.
We begin to realize that when we say yes to something, we are saying no to something else.
My pastor spoke about how discipline and the freedom that we desire to live in go hand in hand.
There are many areas that I want to see freedom in my own heart, soul, mind, and body, and it is going to take me saying yes more to disciplined decisions.
As I was ping-ponging back in forth in my mind of what that looked like, I was hit so hard with the reality of this simple verse in 1 Corinthians 8:1 NLT:
“It is love that strengthens”.
The writer of 1 Corinthians, Paul, was writing to the church of Corinth to answer a lot of questions about the do and don’ts of the Christian faith, and right before he jumps into the nuanced “no-no” list, he starts with love.
Love needs to be the foundation; love is what will strengthen.
As a 3 on the enneagram as soon my pastor finished teaching our church about the relationship of freedom and discipline, I knew I could easily take discipline too far to the point where I could live in a legalistic life of checkboxes, to-do lists, and tireless productivity where Lauren is no longer present with God and others; Lauren is busy doing it all in the name of “growing in discipline”.
Right after I heard his message, I already started creating the laundry list of tasks that can be added to make more more disciplined. Already my weeks tend to be full to the brim with work deadlines, cleaning tasks, purging and organizing goals, daily workout regiments, clean meal recipes, so when I started with adding more, something in me began to deflate in discouragement and defeat. This did not feel like that freedom that Pastor Nathan was talking about.
As I was adding more to my list of to-do’s in the name of discipline, I was remembering how disorienting the week before was due to me jam packing each hour with a meeting or an action item. I paused, and I had to recollect myself.
I chose what my soul longed for all along which was a quiet time in front of my coffee table, a candle lit, bible open, notebook and pen ready, quiet and still. This is the place that God spoke to me. Discipline for me was going to look different.
It wasn’t going to be an action item rather inactivity, a soulful surrender of the heart and body communing and connecting with God; I realized that in order for love to strengthen, I needed to make room for it to. Sometimes making room for love is saying no and not yes.
I want to say no to the numbing busyness and saying yes to feeling it all stillness.
I wrote out my schedule for the week and blocked out time designated to make room for a rhythm and balance that would beckon, welcome, and make room for love. Here is a prayer for you: