Coffee with a Drummer
“It’s not that you do not want recognition; it’s because you deserve it.”
I have the honor of beginning this “Coffee and Conversation” journalistic experience by featuring Michael Cancio, who is not just a talented drummer in my eyes, but he is my husband, my life partner of over 6 years, and we have shared over 20 years of friendship, so if anyone knows me, it is definitely this man. We had a conversation the other day that I think will bring you hope and insight that you may have never knew you needed.
This conversation took place on January 1, 2019. It was a day after Michael and I had the privilege of ministering at a church for the first time as a family. I had the honor of sharing a spoken word piece that I was unhappy with. After sharing this most precious, fragile, and vulnerable piece of me, I felt that I was not embraced or heard. Michael asked me, “Do you know why it hurt so much?” I looked at him blankly and unsure.
“It is because it was your art. ”
My heart shuttered because I knew it was true. I wasn’t showcasing and hiding behind somebody else’s words; it was my art form that came to me and that I took the time to bring to full fruition. I was so torn behind not wanting to feel that I needed people’s recognition because in my mind “God forbid” if I desired recognition in ministry, it would be deemed as pride and not humility. “That is where our family has it wrong”, Michael interjected. Michael gave advice that he learned from Papa (his grandpa) that changed my life, and this is how Michael recounted that advice:
“First off, you killed it up there on stage babe. Everything that you said resonated with everything in my being. I am sorry that the people didn’t respond the way you were hoping, but believe me, it spoke to me.”
He went on to say.
“I realized that I never told you something that Papa told me years ago that changed the way I viewed ministry. Ministry in churches is a “thankless” job at times. People do not see everything that happens behind the scenes. Papa traveled around the world and performed in front of thousands of people, and there were times that Hermano Pablo (head pastor of the ministry that Papa was a part of) would put Papa on the spot to share whatever was on his heart just like what happened to you yesterday. Back at that time, surprisingly, Papa hated public speaking! Guess what, he didn’t like it just like you didn’t like getting called out on stage the way you did yesterday. He wasn’t comfortable, but he did it, and guess what, he got better, and now he is the most long-winded speaker you can possibly meet. You taking risks in your art is only going to make you better.”
He continued.
“Something that Papa told me is that after everything is said and done, it is those hands that raise for salvation that makes all the hard work and grind worth it. It got me thinking, because I wondered what made ministry worth it to me, and I began to think about the person that ministered at Grandma Jo’s church (great grandma) because whoever they may be changed my life forever. I would not be here today nor would I have found you if someone did not change my great grandma’s life for the better. Because of that ministry, the course of my family’s future has changed.”
He went on.
“This is my why - the generational impact that my art brings. If I did not have drummers in my life that inspired me and did what they were called to do, I would not have found my passion. I am now that drummer for other young boys and girls that are looking and searching for meaning and purpose. I am now a Gabe Araujo and a Billy (inspirational drummers to Michael) to Blake (our nephew).”
He continued.
“In order to get past the fear of rejection, the fear of not being recognized or accepted, you need to find your “why”, your “niche” of why you create the art that you do. For me, it is the hope and the transformation that it brings to the future. This helps me get past that I am the go-to-guy for everything. It gets me past the fact that I am not going to get flooded with compliments even if I kill a set because guess what happens as soon a service is over, I am the guy all the way at the back of the stage tearing down a drum set. I am not the front of stage guy, but I am okay with that because I know that I made impact even if I do not see it right now.”
He went on.
“Art deserves recognition, but we will never get the exact recognition that we are looking for and hope for. That is why it is so important to find an anchor to something far deeper than recognition. For Papa, it was salvation, my dad it is seeing people get the “a-ha” moment when they find the secret to a magic trick, mine is the generational impact, you need to find yours”.
These were words that I needed to hear to begin 2019 more clear-minded. Get clear on your “why”. Get clearer on your hopes and dreams.
Clarity will help you overcome confusion.
I encourage you to get clearer and find the why in your art, your way of being. I declare clarity and focus over your new year! Even though fear is a part of being human in this adventurous road-trip that we call life, but guess what, fear does not have to be allowed to drive.
“Dearest fear,
Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand that you’ll be joining us, because you always do...Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making decisions along the way...You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote. You’re not allowed to touch the road maps; you’re not allowed to suggest detours...you are absolutely forbidden to drive!”
The Coffee and Conversation series is meant to be build community to support people’s hopes and dreams.
On that note, please take the time to support Michael and his band called Create.
It would mean the world if you could like the Createmusicofficial instagram and like the Create Facebook page. Take the time to listen to their song Awake My Soul.