“But in order to live this way - free to create, free to explore - you must possess a fierce sense of personal entitlement...I recognize that the word entitlement has dreadfully negative connotations, but I’d like to appropriate it here and put it to good use, because you will never be able to create anything interesting out of your life if you don’t believe that you’re entitled to try...Creative entitlement simply means believing that you are allowed to be here, and that - merely by being here - you are allowed to have a voice and a vision of your own. ”
I would like to introduce a close friend of mine named Jeremy Francisco who has taught me a different way of embracing Elizabeth Gilbert’s idea of “creative entitlement”. Jeremy also goes by Jay Fran, and he is a private cook, a production manager at Honeybelle, a veteran, and a human-being who finds joy in serving people through the culinary arts.
I have had the privilege of experiencing Jay Frans food at an art event that hosted over 100 people and one on one at the dinner table of my own home, and what stays consistent in his cooking is the quality, flavor, and the posture of his own heart: selfless service.
Have you ever done something for someone but there was an unspoken and hidden price tag attached to this deed that you marked as “selfless” or from the “goodness of your heart”? Sad to say, when that “price” seems to never be paid or that “goodness” never returned, we grow embittered.
We become more in tune with the bitter than the glitter and vibrancy of our passion.
I write because I love it, not because people love what I have to say all the time because guess what, some people may not, and that is okay. Writing makes me feel alive! Writing is the vehicle in which I find the adventure called life. What is your vehicle? Guess what, people may not come along for the ride. Do we just wave it goodbye? That is the constant dilemma, the tension between our commitment and the attachments we make in our current reality.
Jay Fran’s insight on this issue will breathe life to your soul if you take the time to hear it:
“When I wake up and say, “hey, I am too tired to wake up”. My attachment to being cozy in my warm bed does not determine my commitment if I get up and go to work. My attachment to my feeling that I don’t deserve to be cooking has nothing to do with my commitment to become a cook. I need to detach myself from those negative feelings because feelings are so real. The moment that those feelings come in, we can manifest them into our present. When I choose to detach myself from those feelings, I can step back and say “no” I have something bigger that I am called to do”.
He continued.
“I am absolutely down right committed to cooking, to the enjoyment of food whether it be my consumption or for others to consume the food I made. I am committed to that experience for others. I am not attached to whatever way I want that to look. Someone can say my food doesn’t taste good, but that is okay, because I am not attached to what they think of my food, I am committed that I made that for them, and I gave them that experience.”
As I was sitting there, I began to see myself in front of my laptop typing up the very words that you are reading right now, and I struggle with my personal editor in my mind that constantly taunts and questions me. I am worried of what you are going to think. Are these “Coffee and Conversation” pieces really making a difference? Am I leaving you satisfied? Or are you uncomfortable and upset? In this piece, I am choosing to silence my personal editor that I like to call “fear”, and write because I am a writer. I am committed to write, and I am choosing to not be attached to how many likes I get on this post. I am committed to write and have my voice heard because it brings me joy and meaning.
Jay Fran continued.
“The only things stopping us is reasons and feelings. “Being unreasonable” has such a negative connotation. Being unreasonable is to have no reason. I have no reason to stop cooking. I am going to cook! I have no reason to stop cooking even if someone thinks my food tastes like crap. If someone says my cooking tastes like crap, I go back into the kitchen and make it better. I am sad at times. Does being sad stop me from being the best damn cook I could be? Does it stop me from serving others? Does it stop me from taking care of myself? Does it stop me from getting up from work and doing what I need to do? It does not. It is just a distinction.”
As a friend that sees Jay Fran at least once a week, he is going through a lot. His ability to be there for his loved ones and still having the energy and positivity to be there for his own dream has spoken so much life into my own.
He is choosing to not be attached to the unpredictable, uncontrollable, unforeseeable. He is choosing to be committed and do what makes him feel alive.
He is choosing to embrace the “creative entitlement”, the right of passage, that as human beings we are allowed to be here, to have a voice and a vision of our own. I leave you with the questions he left me with.
“How much are you willing to grind? How much are you willing not to grind for it to look a certain way? What are you committed to? You get to choose how you live your life. A fulfilled life is never easy, but damn, don’t you feel alive! There is so much suffering attached to my journey to cooking. It has been completely worth it every time!”
You can support Jay Fran and his passion by following his Instagram called rtkeats, and he is already booking for 2019 as a private cook and his cooking services.
“Your own reasons to create are reason enough. Merely by pursuing what you love, you may advertently end up helping us plenty...Do whatever brings you life, then. Follow your own fascinations...Trust them. Create whatever causes a revolution in your heart. The rest of it will take care of itself.”